, originally uploaded by tayeichi.

obviously my life is so busy with assignments and work that I only have time to post little random things on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr, places that I don't have to write long paragraphs.

something I saw struck me hard last night. I stumbled upon another fellow Limkokwing student's profile from Indonesia, and amazed at what he have done, his creativity and talent, and he's just at the age older than me.

that feeling returns again, the doubtful and wry feeling that is so annoying that it was hard for me to sleep last night. it bothers me a lot, of my future. I feel like i'm stuck at the same place after all these years. i used to blame the environment, blame on insufficient money to equip myself with better tools, now I blame myself for giving myself so many excuses. something has to be done.

i'm working with a company right now, sort of like their appointed designer. And this is one thing I realized: conceptual and quality design are hard to achieve if you are doing one for a commercial purposes. unless we work for projects regarding concert, design, exhibition, or anything about art, or personal projects, or events in school, yes we can play with concept and design, make it as wonderful as possible. however, if we are doing design in the real world, for businesses, marketing, things that don't related with art, it's a tough thing to make it works.

what I'm trying to say now here is, like the title of the book, I have great expectations on myself, so great that it suffocates me sometimes when I think that I've not done enough. sister is urging me to create my own company as soon as possible, have to come out with a company's name, and i guess to reach my expectations, i just have to start deciding what my future counterpart's name would be.