mood : abit blured
listening to : Sleep by Azure Ray
aaah...only now then i know i was so naive and childish last time. thought that everything's gona be easy.
well, not everything. i did experienced hard times before. when my dad does sth wrong n when my mum's diagnosed with breast cancer n when i had to deal with all the pressures during my last year in high school.
i know that we have to encounter alot of difficulties and challenges in our future, may it be big or small. and we have to be strong and sumhow wicked when dealing with them. i know it, since my sis always advised me with such stuff. n i always thought that, well i'm ready n bring it on. i know i can kick those challenges' ass.
ya. to say such a thing when i'm not even at the door of it.
but now the time has come and forces us to move towards it. towards the door of the real beginning of our own world. and funny, this is my first time to ever feel scared about my future. i always have this childish dream about how i'm gona be like in 20 years time. i would be a very successful international designer. still single, earn alot of pounds or dollars. famous around the world. live in a very modern house with my parents....yaya, i know i'm very imaginative and money-faced. but really, my biggest dream is to earn alot of money, as a payback. (those who know me well will understand what i mean as 'payback')
thanks to sis, for snapping me back to reality. she scolded me and kept urging me to rethink clearly of the life i really want in the future, the best path, the best choice, the best...everything. and finally i realised, i'm still very very naive. and finally i've learned how to love myself :)
so now i'd finished dealing with the scholarships thingy (ima gona sent those letters n certs n portfolio n etc to 5 universities). feeling great :) n i'm sure that at least 2 or 3 of the universities are gona accept my request. i'm going for either mass communication or creative design, for ur information. coz i think either of these paths r gona lead me to the life i want, to the future i want.
again, asking myself, 'are you ready?'
Yes, I am.