20090202

why is it so hard everytime?

why can't we just be like them?

i'm too naive and i'm mad at myself.

i'm useless, an idiot for hoping for an easy life.

i feel like i'm a leech, sucking off my sis's money.

a forced leech. i want to let go, so much.

i might as well just leave the house, leave the place and live on my own, so i wouldnt bother anyone. i wou;dnt be a burden to them.

and right now i don't know who to turn to. i tried to bottle it up but the feeling is unpleasant.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry.

i try my best to learn. but i still feel disappointed at myself.

pathetic.

4 comments:

neilwasabi said...

???????
Gosh, you sound sad.
Anything happened?

Am@n3 said...

No matter what happen.
Think positively.
We have to face it.
But i can tell you,
your sister and your family loves you very much.
Dont give up just yet.
Keep on trying. ^^
Gambatte!

hana said...

i too am going through numerous rough patches that i keep silent about and whatever you're going through, the feelings of despair and numbness, i might understand and i feel for you.

And i know that certain things are best left unsaid and a hug and a listening ear given instead. So, HUGS eichi. And you can always rant to me in fb or something and I will just simply listen =)

my daddy keeps telling me that in life there is always a bridge we have to cross sooner or later before life smoothen out and for some reason, ours may be now. I'm still stuck in the 'bridge' so i cannot sprout so called 'positive' words cuz i myself don't know if i can even believe myself when i say it.

but simply just *hugs* and let's just do our best to get through it and hope that life could indeed only get better after all we've been through =)

hana said...

and also for what it's worth, I've always had and still do think of you as nothing short but amazing for always striving so hard in life and that although you may feel disappointed at times, your presence in this world do actually impact and encourage others to work harder and to believe in themselves and i know cuz i am one of them =)