Midnight lullaby

my sis kept asking me to update my blog just now, so here i am, thinking of wad shud i blog, coz these few weeks are just nothing but exam exam EXAM!! =__= until i'm starting to feel numb with all these tests...

honestly, there are times where i will doubt myself for getting straight As in the SPM. sumtimes i'm so afraid tat i cant get all A1s. for some, maybe if they get the passing grades or A2 in their SPM, they'll be content already. well, it's the opposite for my case.

since young, i was always told by my parents or other family members that my sis is very intelligent, almost excel in everything she does, n they all want me to be like her. she got 6 units (or wadever) for her SPMlast time, 7 yrs ago. now they dont count in units anymore, but how many A1s u've got, so my parents started to..kinda force me to get all A1s? if i dont, they'll start 'last time sis could this and that' , which i hate the most, coz for me, each person has their own talents, everyone is different., so why must i be like my sis? however, at the same time, it also gives me will to achieve better results thn my sis, to prove to them that i can do it too. but to no avail. i'm just average in my studies.

i have huge ambitions. i love design so much. clothes, graphics, posters, anything except interior design (dont ask me y). i love photography. i want to take great photos with me myself as the model. i'd promised myself that i'm going to create a brand named eiChi which will be known world-wide by the age of 35. selling wad is still yet to know. maybe i'll be like LV? or maybe Gucci? i wana set the trend for other ppl. i just wana be successful. u can say tat i'm greedy, i dont mind, coz i'm a LEO, and LEOs are ambitious ppl. u can also say that i'm still childish and dream alot, but sad to tell you tat i'd never been so determined in my life. but my family kinda against it. they want me to get a professional job, so that i can get high income, so they suggested me to become a lawyer *sounds of heart breaking* NEVER!!! i'm tellin u guys now that i will never ever be a lawyer!!!

well, with all these thoughts in mind, sumtimes i really think that, why am i studying so hard? it's not like chemistry has sumthing to do with the things i'm goin to venture in the future. why am i studying so hard when i know tat getting ALL A1s in my SPM is quite impossible to me? my parents already 'planted ' the 'all-A1s-is-wad-they-want-n-the-rest-even-got-one-A2-means-bad' within me. that's y sumtimes i feel really stressed n cried silently in my room, until the thought of giving up almost conquers my mind.

*sigh*

still, i must study hard. it's a student's responsibilty after all. i'll just have to put the hell lot of efforts in it and try my very best. i still cant believe that i'm aint a supergirl :)

i think i'm getting moodier n moodier here.

*slap slap, splash splash, bangs her head on the screen*

yosh~! i'm gona study like hell for my final year in high school! i dont care about the results! as long as i'v fullfilled my job as a student n will never ever feel sorry/guilty/wadever for myself!

Nyahahahahahahahahahahahahaha~~!!! XD

okok. enuf of these...let us just enjoy a pretty song sang by Olivia, an American-Japan singer. this song "A Little Pain" is used as the ending song for the anime, Nana. hope u guys like it :p