20060306

本人非常stupid的philosophy
















有一天

魔鬼遇见了天使

"你干嘛在这里?"

"我怎知啊?人家说有你就有我啊!"

"瞎说!我是负,你是正.我们根本就是差天差地的!"

"就是因为这样,我们更应该是在一起的,来平衡人们的内心世界呀~"

"啊啊啊~什么胡言乱语.烦死了.你快走开,离我越远越好!"

从此

天使与魔鬼便不再遇见,各走各的路

结果...

神经病院里每月需增添几张床了...

>这就是本人今天刚刚领悟到的道理.看不懂我所要表达的东西?哪再慢慢的想吧~<

-eiChi乱写-

20060305

Touka Koukan 等物交换

aaah...my sis is going to Dubai next morning with her partner for a week..working of coz, not travelling. and she doesnt know about mum's current condition yet, which is quite bad...the report will be out tomolo, but the doctor had told my mum tat the virus (breast cancer) had already started to spread even before they had taken it out. so...i duno..dad n mum didnt wana tell me much. but i know my mum is suffering badly right now. she keeps thinking about negative stuff..while me n my sis had oledy tried our best to cheer her up...right now, i cant think of anything to say to her, but onli to smile at her...sigh...somtimes i really wonder...am i destined to deal with all of this, just to make me more stonger in life?

first > my dad had made a big mistake, which brought us to live in this so called 'home'...

second > sum of my relatives look down on us, and taunt my mum alot, just bcoz they think they are rich.

third > my grandma had passed away last year, which made a huge impact to my family (this is too complicated...you guys wont understand our situation..unless you're in my shoes)

fourth > my mum's heatlh...this must be a joke. i mean, God, do you really like to play with us? we had suffered a lot already, and now you think it's not enough? aargh~! sumtimes i felt jealous of my frens...they hav their own house, which they truly belong to; their family arer happy, with no worries at all; they get to fly from this place to another place, while we can onli reach until Kuala Lumpur, onli when i'm involved in the national level drawing competition; i'm jealous that my frens can go home after school by car, that they can go everywhere they want. they hav no problems with transportation!

is god fair to everyone? my sis used to tell me that, when He closes the window, He'll open another door for us. she told me when i was still wondering why am i onli hav one arm. this is quite true, coz He has given me talents. talents in art and music, or maybe more, which i shall uncover them myslef in the future.

there's an anime called Fullmetal Alchemist. the story is set in an alchemy world, where ppl got the talent to break down certain things and tranform/make it into sth else. for example, they could transform a metal stick into another metal stuff just by drawing a symbol around that thing. Alchemy though, is science, not magic. and with all sciences there are laws that must be followed. in this case, the law is 'Touka Koukan', which means equivalent trade. that is, you must giv in sth to achieve another thing. and i just hav a thought. maybe this equivalent trade happens in our real life too...between us human n God. we must sacrifice to get the things we want. maybe these are the challenges that God givs us to face n cope with, to exchange for a better life in the future. who knows? although i'm suffering right now, i believe that my fate will change in the future. yea..maybe this is wad actually happens...equivalent trade.

*returns to the old crazy-eiChi- self*

Yup, i believe it is...'touka koukan'..nice word, dont you think? bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! XD so lets be prepared to erase my past life n write a new one! yes~ (^O^)

20060304

entau kia!






















LOL~~ so this is me thn...i'm right all along XD
You Are 80% Boyish and 20% Girlish

You have a tough exterior - and usually a tough interior to match it.
You're no nonsense, logical, and very assertive.
Sometimes you can't understand women at all, even if you're a woman yourself.
You see things rationally, and don't like to let your emotions get the best of you.

20060302

今天的天空真的很灰耶~!

aaah~~ keep raining last week..thn this week suddenly very hot..thn today the sky looked so dark...later in the morning...cats n dogs are pouring down...sick....

1. to HER
aiyah~ if u want to have a part so much, thn write the script urself lah!! ppl very tired oledy u know? n u 'tiu tiu tiu' there = . = sigh....this girl will never change her attitude...

2. to HIM
ahohoho~ now u lose ur confidence oledy ar? haha~ last time u was like 100% sure ur design will get picked leh! haha~ but better dont lah, dont giv up first. btw, i didnt say anything to ur design, it's just that i want a completely different layout n design for the school mag this year. this is the reasoni join the sidang redaksi ---- REVOLUTION!!!! bwahahahahahahaha~~~
btw, this is my design :p















3. to all my frens
wahlau eh~ yesterday so jiak lak. the duno which university gave us a 'shocking' survey to do -------- our sex education O.o''' shocking~ everyone in class was like going nuts n lafing like wad! so sickening questions such as had u ever do sex b4 n how many times or sth to do wif homoseksual n thn got mati pucuk oso...we even searched for sum sickening BM words in dictionary to answer tat survey. for example..'melancap'...*sigh* n this particular word had changed the whole class.....we started to play with this 'melancap' word whenever we could...purposefuly ask our PJK teacher wad it means..thn he told us briefly...suddenly MK asked him to show us an example...we all laughed...thn the teacher told us another name for melancap, which is 'onani'.....thn this 'onani' bcame the second most popular word used in 5I, the first one is of coz 'melancap'....O.o''' wad to do? we are so seriously brain polluted.

btw HK, thnx for lending me money to buy tat book!! haha~ like u so much! n ur acting too!!!!! XD

20060228

it really hurts..really...

...how am i suppose to put these into words? guess i'll just write it down one by one...

Mum
yea..my mum was hospitalised for about a week due to breast cancer. well, just a minor one, the poison hadnt spread yet, n the doctor had got it removed. still, i feel sad n sorry for my mum. i owez left all the house chores to my mum. i only did a bit when she was still healthy..i felt bad...al i thought was entertainment n more leisure. aaah..now i realised tat, i had hurt my mum alot..well..maybe..this is wad i thought. i was owez the stubborn n naughty one, even though i'm olready Form 5. sorry mum, i promise tat i'll try to be more mature from now on and do wad i'm suppose to do. i know you hav put alot of hope on me, n dont worry, i'll never let you down.

to my family..
sis, dad, i know you guys too, like mum, want me to be a successful person. get straight A1 in SPM, got the first prize in tat poster drwaing competition, n hav a desirable/ well paid/ professional job. but if you guys still treat me like i'm primary 6, plz...stop. i'd enough. when sis was helping to refine my poster b4 handed it in, you guys were like :" chi, see how sis hold the brush..see how she color it..." or " do you understand wad your sis is doing? " wtf...i was all quite during that time, but deep inside me, i wana scream, shout, to tell you guys tat, hell plz~ i'm already 17, i got my own style of drawing, my own style of letting my drawing stands out. i was so fustrated, how come you guys never knew? all you know is tat, sis is the best, n i must be exactly like her in the future, tat she is owez the right one, but not me! i want to be the best too! i want to be different from her! n i also wana be the right one! tat you guys can show off to other younger kids! you guys allowed her to persue her dream -- ID (interior design), but when it come sto me, i sed i want to study graphics art or anything to with dsign (but not ID) you guys stopped me, or sed : " we'll discuss it later" why, WHY cant i just follow my dream? my interest? it's easy for you to say :" oh, you can be a lawyer or a lecturer" HELL NO!! sis...i know i'm not suppose to behave like this, but u'll never know wad mu feelings inside, becoz you never hav an elder sis or bro who mum n dad will determined him/her as ur role model. i'm sorrry, this is how i really feel. i'm hurt everytime you guys treat me like this. imagine sis, that you are oledy 17 or 18, when you oledy got ur own perspective towards things n got ur own style, thn dad criticises u bcoz you are not like ur elder siblings or reach the same target as thiers. it hurts. i wana stand out too, i also wan, at least, mum n dad noticed my own talents, not over-shadowed by urs... they only accpet urs, not mine...n i hate it....i'm crying right now...shit... i also wana be like you.......can we just be equal?...

20060223

ahaha..= . =

aaah...tired....
mama just got her operation done the day before
and yes, everything is gona be ok
at least
i believe
and my sister believe
dad too
so ma,
never give up, k?
coz you still got us

i cried yesterday
first time, bcoz of stress
house chores
unlimited homework
everlasting tuitions
and worst of all
the drawing competition that may change my future
oh ya
and the sidang redaksi thingy

i wonder why i still like him?
when our taste of art are totally different?
i desperately want mine to be picked
he too feel the same way
and i cried too bcoz of him
part of me want success
but the other part of me dislike to see his sad face
i duno
i'm confused
i like him, but i like my art too

maybe time will heal everything...
mum's health
dad's job
my unpredictable future
n my connection with him
yea...i'll know soon enough...

aaah..very tired....sleep.

20060219

aiksss
today is tat person's birthday...

hmm..wonder wad's tat person doing now....

20060214

Valentine's Day












wad did i do today...?

1. seriously hoping tat there's a mysterious person who'll gime roses.

2. saying "Happy Valentine's Day' to every ppl i know.

3. played with my fren's rose n imagined tat they were mine.

4. fooling around with my male pals

5. teasing all those couples.

6. in the end got so tired n no roses for me.

...yeah...

so wad about my frens?


1. sum were like me...*points up*

2. sum were just...'so wad??'

3. sum were happy..coz couples mah~

4. sum were...'wad?? today is valentine's day??'

5. sum were bz selling flowers @ roses

6. sum were recieving roses with confused expression.."hu..?"

...oh yeah...

conclusion?

it's just like any other ordinary day...

Life Goes On...

Bwahahahahahahaha~~~ XD

20060211

emotions...

so many things had happened, just in these two weeks...first, is the CNY, second, is our school sports day, third, the drawing competition which may will affect my future, n lastly, my mum's health.....i'm in a mess now. well, not really, just the feelings...it's all cramped together with happiness n sadness n fear. O.o''' CNY was fun, coz i got many ang pows n visited my frens; sports day was fun too, esp on the second day. i was very crazy with my other frens: ran around the stadium, sang karaoke, n finally made him happier. as for the drawing competition..i guess i sud call it a design competition. if i win it, n hopefully, i'll get a full scholarship to further my studies in LimKokWing Uni...so, i really gona unleash my full potential, just to win this. n now, my mum is in the hospital, still having the operation i suppose.. she looks so worried n sad n scared....my sis keeps trying to cheer her up, saying tat it'll be ok n over soon. keeps telinn her to smile. but i cant do that...i duno..i don even dare to bring up the topic to her, scared tat it'll worsen her spirits. so i just kept quiet, smile at my mum, n do wad i'm suppose to do, help her with the house chores, study hard n be a good gal..these are all wad i can do now....

mum...dont worry, we will owez be with you. n yes, be strong, mum. you can do it. coz you are the greatest mum in this whole world...

20060203

gong xi fa cai~

ok, finally got my CNY photos updload in my comp. weeeeeee~~~ XD so now, teng! teng! teng! teng!!!!



<<< i'm reli proud of this pic XD i'm a model!!! weee~~




















<<< Kuching punya S.H.E!!!!!




















<<< erm...edited usin photoshop...















<<< acted cool...



















<<< me n my super dad!!!















<<< me n my super mom!!!!